Playing Together was originally written by Taylor Tedford as an assignment for an Opinion Writing course taken at High Point University throughout the Spring of 2017.
“Look at Taylor’s face! Look at her! She’s skating circles around you boys out there! She might as well be the only one on the ice at this point, because without her we’d be losing! She’s carrying this team on her shoulders!”
Over ten years of playing hockey, this was not the only praise I received. However, this is the praise that remains most ingrained in my memory.
When Coach Ayers complimented me that day he gave me the confidence that I could be the best. Not just the best of the girls, but of everyone.
When reminiscing on my experiences in co-ed and women’s hockey leagues throughout my life, I realize that my most meaningful experiences did not occur in gendered sports leagues.
Instead, I find it is my experiences on co-ed sports teams that were far more influential on my social and personal development.
While I made lasting friendships on both gendered and co-ed sports teams, it was not my experiences on gendered sports team that resulted in personal growth. Co-ed teams gave me more confidence in my abilities as a player and in who I was.
I became less shy around boys, more talkative, and had more fun because I wasn’t as scared to be myself. My friendships with my teammates led me to seek male friends, who I still remain in contact with, rather than fleeting romantic relationships.
When inquiring amongst my peers I found that many of them agreed that they had enjoyed and appreciated their experiences on co-ed sports teams.
Betsy Drumm, a soccer player throughout her youth, agreed that she had enjoyed her experiences on co-ed teams, “I loved co-ed soccer. Some of the boys would go easy on me as I was the only girl in the league for a while, but I wouldn’t go easy on them. The ones that didn’t go easy on me spurred me to play harder and show them I’m a force to be reckoned with. I think there are great learning advantages for both genders. It teaches boys to look at girls differently, to respect them, and to see them as teammates. The girls begin to see the boys as teammates as well and it allows them to get past the gender barrier and awkwardness. It allows everyone to see each other as players and to see what they each have to offer the team, regardless of their gender. I made some great friendships on that team that really helped me out in high school.”
Gendered sports may be necessary in high school, college, and at the professional level to provide a fair playing field and allow players of either gender to embrace their abilities. However co-ed youth sports teams are a unique experience, which allow for irreplaceable personal growth.
Taylor Lavender, a soccer player and coach, reflected on her experiences with co-ed teams, “It is definitely a learning experience for all and I support it 100 percent, especially at younger ages. I think everyone involved learns something extra when both genders are included, and everyone has a platform to practice their skill.”
This perspective is not unique to soccer. Shawn Strunk, a little league coach and former baseball player, agreed with Taylor, “Girls and boys are very similar, and very different, but to me it’s always enjoyable to have everyone on my team playing to their talents and giving them their time to shine. I love having both together on the field, and it definitely adds something to it.”
While some may argue that co-ed sports are too dangerous for youth, my experience playing co-ed hockey (an extremely physical sport) leads me to disagree.
Girls who are passionate about physical sports, like hockey, embrace the physical nature of those sports and develop their skills alongside their male teammates. In hockey one of those skills is the ability to both take and receive checks (‘hits’).
Alexis Rendina, a former youth hockey player, reflected on her experience, “I was the only girl on the team and it was the best experience for me! It was like having 20 brothers that had my back on and off the ice.”
USA Hockey Magazine recently reported that, “With significant growth over the past 10 years, more girls then ever are honing their hockey skills, ready to take on anyone in their way – boy or girl.” Girls aren’t afraid of playing with boys, and they shouldn’t be!
Co-ed sports teams cultivate better players but more importantly, they produce better people.